It’s Valentine’s Day (but you already knew that)

Whether you're hoping to get hit with an arrow or running away from this little bastard, we've got you covered.

Whether you’re hoping to get hit with an arrow or running away from this little bastard, we’ve got you covered.

You started seeing cards and heart-laden decorations in stores before the Christmas trees were even down. You’ve read every listicle from every publisher about what to get your sweetheart, where to eat, what to say, what to cook, or how to celebrate anti-Valentine’s day but here you are. It’s noon, you’re trolling the Interwebs and realize you’ve read about being prepared but haven’t actually prepared anything. Fear not—just like we saved your ass for the Super Bowl, we’re gonna do the same for V-Day. Whether you’re celebrating with that special someone, mocking the day with others, or cooking happily by yourself we’ve put together some simple meal ideas to keep the effort minimal and the results maximal.

Dining Solo: the company’s good and you don’t have to argue over what to eat.

Anti-Valentine’s Dinner: fu*k you, Hallmark. Work on making Grandparent’s Day a bigger thing.

The Lovers’ Meal: gaze amorously into each others eyes and eat these heartwarming classics

Dessert: whether you’re hating or participating there’s no reason not to make the Elvis Pie.

  • To make things quicker, get a store-bought graham cracker crust.
  • You can also save time by using raw bananas and not baking them
  • You can save even more time by slicing and frying the bacon, then tossing it in maple syrup before mixing it in the pie

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